well f that.

on my phone again. i wanted to update friday, but i needed time to cool down. on friday i found out that my lovely insurance declined me to see a reproductive endocrinologist. what the f u c k. i meet all criteria, but apparently they dont think i deserve to go. we all know i produce little to no progesterone on my own...that makes me feel like shit. when i get on my computer i will post a link to a site that has the symptoms and i have i believe all but four. of course life is not fair, but it also isnt fair for me to not be treated for this. i deserve it just as much as the next person tricare may or may not allow to go. welcome to government run health care. i shouldnt complain because in most cases the insurance is fine, but how come they get the say...shouldnt i? or my dr? i got this news when an obgyn office called to schedule an appt with me on friday. i made the appt, jan nineteenth, but i know there isnt anything they can do that hasnt been done. i called my pcm afterward to see why i wasnt getting a call from the re. not pleased. then friday night i had a cyst on my right ovary rupture...holy ouch. i am still pretty sore. thats it for now.

feeling down and out

iam on my phone, so please excuse grammatical errors. i have no new updates and i am stressed. im laying in bed and my cysts on my right side are bugging me. it feels as if firecrackers are going off in my ovaries. awesome. other than that, i feel like i am going through a bout of depression. i am irritable, too tired somedays and others i am not tired at all, i am being pessimistic and today and for a good part of the last seven to ten days, i didnt get dressed for the day. i have no motivation. is some of it from pcos? im sure. is some from feeling alone? sure. is this new? nope. ive battled with my good friend depression for a while. i was winning for some time, but looks like shes catching up again. damn her. my body has been aching all over too...depression, stress, nerves, laziness??? i dont have a clue. i see my dr for a check up next thursday. of course nobody has called about me going to the reproductive endocrinologist yet...im getting pissed. my dr in kentucky would have had that shit done with in days...ive been waiting since late october here. i didnt get a referral for mental health, everyone is booked up for over six months. i can go on post, and maybe i need to. dr knows best...or so they think. but im starting to agree. i will update after my appt next week.