Update and Another Dr Appt

Update from the last appt with Dr Sawyer:
I did not take the Provera, nor the Clomid. I just really am dreading those Clomid side effects and I really did not want to have them while we went to Florida and next week I am having some friends from out of state come and don't really want to have them then either. Dr Sawyer is going to be mad, but whatever. I think I am just going to wait until we get to New York to restart all of the fertility med stuff. I also believe I am about to start a period on my own, which is great and what I was hoping for.

Today I went to Dr Merced, my PCM. I just love her and I am sad that I can't take her with me LOL. She is so wonderful. She took an hour out of her busy schedule and sat and talked with me. She too has had fertility issues. She has a 6 year old son that she had with no problems and she had tried since then for another baby, but no luck. She shared her story of Clomid, all other medications, IUI and IVF, all of them failed her and her family. Now, she never said what she had, I know it is not PCOS, but that doesn't matter, she too has felt the struggles. She was telling me how nobody ever thinks a doctor will have to go through that, but they do. Fertility issues are a big deal to her and she took her time to talk to me about hers. It meant a lot to me, and although I felt bad for taking the time of other patients, I appreciated her story and her comfort. She is, by the way, the first person to ever think I had PCOS and then diagnosed it. She also is the only person who suggested that I may terrible allergies and some other issues, and those all I did/do have.

Anyways, I updated her on everything that has been going on and about the herbal supplements and that my anxiety is sky high. She gave me the go ahead on the herbal supplements and said they would be fine and she had tried some as well. She also suggested that maybe sometime I try acupuncture, I actually told John I wanted to try that the other day for the PCOS, but also my anxiety! Well today I came home with some more medications. I was put back on Zyrtec and Astelin nose spray. I am having some serious allergy and sinus issues. I also am battling with some terrible anxiety and the Klonopin is not cutting it. I do not want to increase my Klonopin dosage, as I would love to be off of it, so she too suggested Wellbutrin, so I now have that as well. She could tell I was anxious and think it will help take the edge off. She also noticed some signs of depression, which I have battled with for years, so this will help that as well. It will not be the first time I have taken an antidepressant and I am sure it will not be the last. It runs in my family and when I was 19 I was diagnosed with Dysthymia (when I was diagnosed I was told it was depression caused by anxiety). Some people also think I am a Hypochondriac, and maybe I am to an extent, but it stems from the anxiety. PCOS and Dysthymia have nothing to do with eachother, but PCOS and depression do. I just keep tying pieces of my past together and things are coming together. Maybe I do not have Dysthymia, maybe my depression episodes are caused by PCOS. I guess we will never exactly know.


*In 2006 I was diagnosed with Dysthymia by a Behavioral Therapist after a battery of different tests. I did very poorly my first year of college and just let go of all reality. I was "messed up". I did not want medication at first and finally one day asked my mom to please let me go to a psychologist, it was a great decision. I have posted a link to some information on Dysthymia.
http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/chronic-depression-dysthymia